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Neck Warmer

Jan 18, 2007

This is me in my Hobo-Neck-Scarf...so aptly named by Shane.
He's jealous of the fashion craze I've begun.
I am encouraging hipsters to grow beards, their hair, and wear a broken down toque as a neck warmer/scarf. In fact, there are already a few copycats at Phog Lounge in Windsor.

Shane has been nice enough to even tell me that my hair, on the sides, looks like pubic hair. What are friends for? That might be the worst thing anyone has ever said about my appearance, and it came from my best pal.
Love you too...a-hole.

It started on Spadina Street in Toronto with my wife. We went into a store and bought two toques for two bucks. Upon walking out the door, I dug into the bag and pulled out a new version of the toque. It had NO pom-poms on it, and it had come completely unravelled on the top, where it should be sewn shut with pom-poms.

I was incensed! I spent a dollar! What is the value of a dollar anymore! My wife, Jhoan rolls her eyes looking at me. "Bring it back then, don't complain," she said...or something like that. This coming from the person who has since learned NEVER to buy "gadgets" from dollar stores, after  we bought a can opener that couldn't have helped open a can if they were tied together and shot out of a canon against an iron wall.

Dollar stuff, for the most part is total trash.
This toque-turned-neck-scarf is how you pull the old switcheroo on the bastards taking advantage of our thrifty, cheap asses.

At that moment, in the summer, in Toronto, I told Jhoan, "This is going to be a neck warmer," which she started to laugh at, "and I'm not kidding! This thing is going to be the BEST neck warmer ever! Just to spite this store!"

And, voila! It has been so faithful and ugly at the same time, that I am getting people to follow in my footsteps. "I feel weird without it on now," said one follower, "because it's like being hugged the whole time it's on, and when it's off, you're cold."

That's right. Gaze upon my mangled woolen nightmare. I love it.
We might even start selling them...


That Guy
over seventeen years ago

So your disgust with poor quality worksmanship is a moot point. Can\\\'t you see you\\\'re just feeding the machine by purchasing their trash and turning it into something you value? You\\\'ve just added value to this crappy $1 toque and are encouraging everyone else to do the same. Capitalism is an evil thing in the hands of the wrong people.

Ash
over seventeen years ago

where can i get a hobo neck warmer? and what that guy said is stupid, cuz everyone needs a warm neck...except fatties whose mega chin-waddles keep their necks naturally warm.